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I hate myself!


Loathing of oneself nor self-hatred, according to Merriam Webster; the definition of self-loathing. It is being normalized by non-Africans to link uncongenial deeds to Africans nor to the existence of Africans, but it is blasphemous for an African to freely vocalize their perspective on the world and the state of Africa, nor to even mention the word “colonization”. Today, we have Africans who call their fellow Africans “foreigners" just because they’re from other African countries. If you confidently perceive a fellow black man as a foreigner, while you’re also a black man then you need to thoroughly peruse nor scrutinize your thought process and your cognitive abilities, and verify if they are still under your possession.

The more time goes, the more segregation gains power in black communities. We have black men who would vehemently attack a fellow black man in order to forcefully nor fraudulently attain what another man has gone through voracious perspiration for; but would also become loyal security guards of the white men’s property. I know the half-brained individuals would misinterpret this analogy.  I do not mean no malice. I, simply, am elucidating the magnitude of self-loathing that engulfs a preponderance of black communities. Even within black families, blood status, self-loathing is rife. You find a myriad categories of rivalry levels that exist, such as graduates vs dropouts, 30+ married vs still deemed single by Home Affairs, and so forth. Think about the genocide that once took place in Rwanda that involved a gory tumult that led to a lot of black lives lost because of being murdered by their fellow black men. 1990 tribal wars in South Africa, post apartheid. It also resulted in gobs of lives lost and so many families were bereft of their beloved. In America, almost the whole world know about the rivalry that’s doing an exceptional job in separating black people, which is between the groups of black people which are known as Bloods and Crips, represented by the colours: red and blue, respectively. Also their rivalry has resulted in a cornucopia of lives lost; even a preponderance of black rappers are also perpetuating the black on black murder culture. This shows how much we abhor one another, or ourselves.

Self-loathing, in black communities, goes deeper than one would anticipate. It has made gobs of black people to believe that Africa wouldn’t survive without the aid of European capitalists who use the euphemism “foreign investors” to deviate people’s focus from their true intentions. Even black Christians who are devout believers and worshippers of “white Jesus” abhor their own ancestors because they’ve been convinced that their own ancestors are evil. If you hate the ancestors you know just to worship a white ancestor, which you’ve never met nor would be unable to provide evidence of his existence if asked to do so; then how do you, honestly, think nor expect that a white ancestor would consider you over its white population that’s still on earth? Self-loathing has gone as far as even augmenting the segregation that exists between black males and females. Cases of domestic violence, rape and all kinds of uncongenial crimes committed by black men to women are being broadcasted, almost daily, and one would even conclude that the rates of these crimes could be exaggerated, owing to how we never see cases of other races. We are being convinced that crime and everything that is utterly bad are intrinsic to black men and we end up hating black men, due to devoutly believing in the idea that crime is black. I’m not defending black men who commit crime. 

I’m inquisitive about the fact that media only shows black people who commit crime. We only see few cases of people from other races, who have been convicted for committing crimes. To be honest, if Ted Bundy was black, then such history wouldn’t be concealed, it would be repeated annually to make the world see how cruel and sex-hungry black men are. However, that’s not the point. I’m trying to elucidate the fact that movements like #menaretrash were impelled by the media’s subtle exclusive exposure of crimes that negatively affect black women, more than the actual crimes. This has made black women to automatically perceive all black men as potential rapists, thugs, nor murderers  before they attempt to affably interact with black men. Black men's constant exposure to absent fathers, lack of proper father-figures nor abusive fathers, musicians nor rappers who perpetuate promiscuity, patriarchy, misogyny and all types of discriminative nor toxic behaviour towards black women has impelled a preponderance of young black men to perceive women in the way these rappers want them to. They then start seeing women as puny objects that are worthy for sex, being belittled nor murdered if they refuse to comply with their desires nor fantasies. 

Self-loathing is doing more damage than we can fathom, in black communities. We need to reprogram our minds and learn the true values of the African culture. We need to learn to love ourselves again or those who want to annihilate us will teach us a different form of “self-love".

Love yourself, so you can love others…


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